Bienvenidos

My Name is Joe I like pokemon, the legend of zelda, and cats.

officialunitedstates:

someone:  slaps down $19 bucks for a premium theme

me:  just a free one for me please thanks

(via retiredjesus)

austrianwhore:

that feeling of satisfaction when you finally finish hanging all of your fish on a clothes line in the middle of an empty field

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(via srushtinator)

666-slut:

when your crush posts a new selfie

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(via srushtinator)

starllex:

I don’t get how babies can cry at restaurants lol like nigga why you cryin there’s food around you rejoice

(via retiredjesus)

unlimitedgoats:

luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.

(via bitterboner)

0ffic3cha1r:

generalbooty:

yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit  during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me

Get married

(via bitterboner)

validx2:

Girl: Why you like me

Lying Nigga: Cause shawty it’s like we can talk about anything, you got good conversation, and plus you patient 

Girl: Nigga aint that Bow Wow  lyrics?

Lying Nigga: 

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(via reehality)

jackiebeulahburkhart:

sherlocksmyth:

"why didn’t you do your homework over the holidays?"

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This is the best thing I’ve ever seen

(via moose-eggs)

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